The Horrible Reason to Practice Constant Vigilance
by cuddlebearlove
Summary: 6th in the series. Harry thinks he has learned all he needs to, until a problem arises in class one day. The first five are alluded to.


Disclaimer: Not mine

The Horrible Reason to Practice Constant Vigilance

Harry was sitting in Defense Against the Dark Arts the week after his talk with Sirius. He was so thankful that his talks appeared to be over. He had every piece of information regarding sex; there was nothing more to learn.

That being said, he was having a problem. All of the talking about sex must have effected him somehow. His hormones seemed to be running in overdrive. This meant that he was highly excited a large portion of the time. While he knew how to handle this problem, nothing could be done in the middle of class.

He tried to complete the reading that was required of him, but he just couldn't concentrate. His mind was completely on other things; things that were not helping his problem.

He spent another fifteen minutes trying to read, then gave up. As he looked up, he noticed Professor Moody smirking at him.

"Wonder why" Harry thought to himself. The answer occurred to him about five minutes later. His magical eye.

"Oh, oh Merlin, oh." Harry was panicked. "Why is this happening to me? Haven't I suffered enough? Oh, please don't let him want to talk about it."

Harry glanced at his professor, but Moody had begun walking around the room. He quickly scribbled a note to Ron and passed it to him.

Ron read it under the desk and looked at Harry. Without warning, he burst into a fit of laughter unlike anything Harry had ever heard from him before. Then he handed the note to Hermione. She read it, sighed, and turned to give Harry what he thought would be a sympathetic look. Instead, she looked like she was going to laugh as well. Harry shot them both hurt looks. When this only made Rod laugh harder and Hermione start to giggle, he gave them both a rude hand gesture. Then the bell rung.

"Class dismissed. Potter, stay behind."

Harry appeared to be on the verge of crying. Ron whispered that they would wait for him outside. Harry was very thankful for his loose fitting robes as he walked up to the teacher's desk.

"You okay there, Potter."

"Yes, sir." Harry answered, blushing scarlet.

"You don't have to be ashamed. However, I do have something I feel you need to know."

"Hm?"

"CONSTANT VIGILANCE."

Harry jumped as Mad-Eye screamed.

"What?" Harry asked. He didn't see what that had to do with sex whatsoever.

"You must use constant vigilance, Potter. It is essential."

"Why is that?" Harry asked, confused.

"It is very easy to get caught in the moment. That is the perfect opportunity for an attack."

Harry didn't say anything, so Moody continued.

"Imagine it. You are with a woman, having sex. You are on top and all of a sudden she stabs you."

"WHAT?" Harry all but shrieked.

"It's possible. Just think of all the things that could go wrong. Your partner could stab you, cast a spell on you, poison you after you pass out from your effort. The possibilities are endless."

"Have you ever seen this during your work as an auror?" Harry asked.

"Not quite like it, no. But it is possible. That's why you must use-"

"Constant vigilance." finished Harry.

"The woman could claim she had taken a potion, or used the charm on you, but she hasn't. Then she gets pregnant and you are stuck with a kid you weren't ready for. Constant vigilance, Potter. That's the key."

"Okay. Can I go now?" Harry asked, hopefully.

"Not yet. Now, I recommend girls wear chastity belts to ward off rapists that lurk around corners. I think you should strongly consider one yourself."

Harry was looking at Moody incredulously. "Why is that?" he asked.

"You think there aren't people around here who would love to say they slept with you? There are. All it would take is a drop of a sedative potion in your goblet at mealtime. You would be drugged and they could drag you off and have their way with you. You don't want that, do you? Constant vigilance."

"Okay. Can I go now?"

"You should not walk alone in the hallway. Anyone could jump out and stun you. Then they could drag you off and have their way with you. You don't want that either, do you?" Moody asked.

"You seem to be convinced that people are getting dragged off a lot here." Harry commented.

"It has happened." Mad-Eye responded.

"When?"

"Well, not recently. But it has happened, which is why you must exercise-"

"Constant vigilance." repeated Harry.

"Do you know what happened to me once, lad?"

Harry inwardly cringed. "Please don't let it involve sex." he thought.

"I met a girl in a bar and we ended up having a few drinks together. Woke up the next morning and she had stolen my wallet and left in the middle of the night. Know why?"

"You weren't practicing constant vigilance?" Harry asked.

"Right you are. I was not practicing constant vigilance. Alcohol has that effect. Stay away from it. If you don't, you will end up letting your guard down. Women have that effect too. I know you can't stay away from them, but you can still be cautious. Don't mix alcohol and women. That's a deadly combination because it renders you unable to-"

"Practice constant vigilance." Harry finished for him.

"You weren't practicing constant vigilance today, were you?" Moody asked.

"I suppose not." answered Harry, unsure of where this was going.

"Of course you weren't. Had you been, you would not have become so distracted that you ended up with the problem in your pants. Pay attention to what you are supposed to be paying attention to. You can not have your mind wondering. It is not conducive to constant vigilance. Stay focused and avoid pain and suffering."

"I understand, Professor. Can I go now?"

"I suppose. Just remember, constant vigilance. You remember that and nobody will get hurt."

"It's about time, Harry." Ron said as his friend emerged from the classroom.

"You aren't going to try and drag me off to have your dirty way with me are you, Ron?"

"No." answered Ron, slighly confused.

"Are you, Hermione?" Harry asked.

"I highly doubt it." answered the witch sardonically. "Why?"

"Nothing." Harry answered. "I just have to practice constant vigilance so I can avoid being raped."

"You're kidding?" Ron asked, dismayed.

"Nope. That's what that discussion was about. Sex and constant vigilance."

"Oh, well." Hermione said. "It could-"

"Shut up, Hermione." Harry interrupted. He hoped he had warded off his bad luck by cutting Hermione off before she could jinx him. He didn't realize that fate was plotting against him.

A/N: Mad-Eye was highly requested. I hope you all enjoyed it. Thanks to everyone that reviewed any of the other stories. Please keep it up:)


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